Because our culture emphasizes individuality and self-reliance so highly, we sometimes regard “advice” as an implication that the recipient is failing is some way. The assumption is that we’d all ideally do things without help.

The truth is that there are helpers behind every individual achievement and our culture thrives on collaboration and contact.

We tend to think of art especially as the product of one personality. But in the history of visual art, you’ll read about studios where great artists trained other people to work in their style and collectives of artists who spurred each other on, creating schools like the Impressionists. Folk music didn’t always come with names of singer-songwriters attached. Jazz is famously improvisational

When it comes to writing, as well, feedback can be essential. In my previous post, I give the example of The Great Gatsby, which F. Scott Fitzgerald edited dramatically after getting advice from his editor.

When it works, feedback is a grand gift. A person gives you the benefit of her life experience and personality, applying it directly to your task.

Good feedback will offer you solutions, or prompt you to see a problem, or see it differently so you can find your own.

Can you recall a time when you gave feedback and it was received gratefully? Were you relieved because you were afraid you hadn’t said things carefully enough?

We all know that sometimes people aren’t precise or articulate or tactful–but they may still be telling us what we need to hear. Or that feedback can come at the wrong time. The most successful people learn to hear it and store it up in a way that they can use when needed. Maybe advice-givers remind you of a pushy parent, sibling, or spouse who didn’t respect you. You’re losing too much if you let that history deprive you of the advantage of other people’s insights.

So go ahead and invest in yourself and seek the editing, copy-editing, critique, or second reading that could move you forward.

Writing is one area of life where you’ll be pushed up close to your capacity to seek and accept feedback. You’ll need to learn the art of taking useful feedback and discarding comments that lead you away from your goal. Writers need editors! Just as we all need mentors, teachers, and friends who tell us their truth.